Procession

                             (photo credit)

Have you ever been a part of a funeral procession? The hearse carries the departed from the funeral home to the church, and then to the cemetery for burial. The lead car is often a police car, followed by the hearse and the cars carrying the closest family members, and finally, the rest of the mourners… other police may follow the procession, or be stationed at intersections along the route… all vehicles drive in single file formation, lights on… a slow and formal procession through town, not stopping at lights, other drivers pulling over to allow the procession to pass, etc. It is somewhat disruptive to traffic, but it’s a minor price to pay to show a bit of respect to fellow humans who are suffering the loss of a loved one.
I just read this article and found it very sad:
Police escort fewer funeral processions

By Larry Copeland USA TODAY

ATLANTA — When the police department in Gulfport, Miss., recently ended long funeral processions by limiting them to five vehicles, the news was not well-received by some residents, who saw it as killing a cherished tradition.
"We could either limit the number of vehicles, or not do (funeral escorts) at all," explained Lt. Brian Smith, head of the city's traffic unit.
Police-escorted funeral processions for ordinary citizens are a rarity in big cities in the USA, and increasingly so in smaller cities.
Liability and staffing concerns have prompted several police departments in large metropolitan areas to stop providing the escorts. Police in Atlanta, Charlotte, N.C., Miami, Minneapolis, Las Vegas and Los Angeles said this week they no longer provide escorts, except for police officers, firefighters or military personnel killed in battle. (more)

My father had a procession. Although he had insisted that he did NOT want any sort of a fancy funeral… I believe he phrased it as “Just stick me in a cardboard box and do not waste the money”!… I couldn’t do that for him because I had my mom, who was suffering from dementia at that time, and the rest of the family to think of. Mom was going to need a viewing, church service, flowers, etc., and my sister wanted our father buried near them, especially since my mother would be going to live out near her (which meant travel and a separate graveside service). I kept costs down as much as possible, but didn’t skip any steps. The funeral is as much about the living as it is the dead.
That entire time period, surrounding my father’s death, was a strange combination of stark reality, and float-y surrealism. I’d spent about 3 months living with my parents after my father found out he had terminal cancer. Honor was still a baby and was with me; Brad and Brian were back home in Maryland, Brad working, Brian attending a Montessori day school. On one hand, I’d never felt more alone in life, yet on the other, I was completely surrounded… not only by my father’s friends and our extended family, but by the whole community. People called, mowed the lawn, visited and brought food. Neighbors helped me with so much! Southern people hug, btw, and not just people you know. Random doctors, nurses, bankers, you name it, they all hug. I only had to hand the pharmacist a list of medicines for my father, for her to realize that he was terminal and she came out from behind the booth to hug me! It was weird, but very comforting.
I got to know the ER all too well – not just for my dad, but my mom too. We had too many scares, and at one point, I thought we might be burying them both at the same time; she managed to outlive dad by 5 years. I also, in general, had a difficult time dealing with my mom over day to day things. We never got along smoothly anyway, and the dementia did not improve that, but we did ok.
Dad passed away quietly, this month 7 years ago. I miss him terribly and wish that he weren’t missing out on knowing his grandkids. Losing my dad was one of the toughest things I’ve ever been through. During the whole ordeal, I just wanted to hide, yet, it was on me to get us through it. And we managed. I think we even did a pretty decent job of things.. maybe not neat, pretty, or all that traditional stuff, but I met the goals I set on the stuff I had to do, regarding the needs of those who mattered most, which was all that was important to me. I’m in agreement with Dad when it comes to all the ridiculous hooplah… I tried to keep the hooplah levels sane; it wasn’t easy.
When it came to the actual funeral, I tried to keep that simple too. One thing that made it a bit strange though, was that while my mom and most of the family are Baptist, my father was Catholic. Tricky. I wanted him to have a final mass, although I’m not sure how I managed to stick to that plan… I was quite ticked off with his church at the time. In hospital, he was denied final sacrament and absolution because he was married, for 37 years(!), to a non-Catholic (with 5 plus years of dementia under her belt by the time of my father’s death; she wasn’t going to be converting, and the priest knew that). Theirs was a valid marriage, but the priest said it was non-sacramental, never mind that my mom was baptized in her church. I think that he was wrong. The Catholic Church has all sorts of rules, yes, but mixed marriages are acceptable… yet… dad accepted the refusal, he nodded his head and said ok. I wanted to lash out at the priest, but I kept my mouth shut. My belief in God is stronger than randomly applied, bone-headed dogma, where the word of man is more important than the spirits of humans. If Dad was ok about risking death without the rituals, then I was ok too, because I know God would know the truth and that He would be ok with dad, and mom too – they’re probably up in heaven right now, enjoying the spring weather, hitting a few golf balls, and sipping cold beer. Anyway… despite my personal annoyance (Thank you dad, you were a great influence on my life and spirit, and bless you for not condemning my soul to abuse by the Catholic faith - actually, thanks to mom too, if either had tried to force me into either of their religions, I would have turned my back and walked off forever. Both gave me education - not brain washing, and let me find my own true path.), I know that my dad was a good man who spent his life devoted to his church. So even though I truly do not ‘get it’, I wanted his final farewell to be done right. His way. Thankfully, a neighbor attended the same church and was able to help. Of course, the whole ceremony was probably confusing to the non-Catholics in the gathering (meaning, most of the family), but this part was for dad, not them… and mom was going to be confused anyway…

(Long time ago – my sister was brand new, and I just turned two… I love this photo.)
Where was I? Oh yes, getting there. Mom and dad had retired, up ‘north’ from Florida, to a middle-sized Southern town, and we used the funeral home recommended by their friends. They did a nice job for us, and when we arrived on the day of the mass, we lined up behind the hearse, and slowly left for the church. Up until that point, the point when the vehicles pulled out of the driveway and onto the main street, I don’t really think I’d realized that all the stress of caring for my dad had truly ended, that most of the chaos of arranging his funeral was over, and we were now to the part where we could say goodbye. That realization hit hard and sudden. All that float-y surreal-ness… grounded.
We drove through town… uniformed police stopping cross traffic at intersections, and traffic pulling over on the side of the road to let us drive by. Some people did not just pull over - they actually stopped their cars, got out, and stood solemnly by the side of the road with their hands over their hearts. My dad wasn’t a public figure, and while he was a Navy veteran (WWII era) we didn’t have anything on the hearse to indicate that. To these people, he was a fellow human and that was enough. That display of respect and tribute, from total strangers, touched me deeper than anything else that day.

I hope that US communities find some better way to incorporate funeral processions into ‘modern realities’. Educating young drivers would be a start. Like Ambulances, fire trucks and other emergency vehicles, my parents always told me to give any funeral procession the respect I would give if it were my loved one being tended to. One day it might be my loved one. They were right. It would be a terrible shame to lose this particular ritual of mourning.

A Stage, and bits of tile

I’m looking out the window. The rain has slowed to a drizzle, for now, and the sun is peeking, but the wind is gusting so hard that the water dripping off the building is, more often than not, flying away parallel to the ground. It’s been stormy all night. I have serious doubts that my, most probably drowned, wifi will let me post this today, Monday, but I might as well get it ready to go.

I have a few more photos from our last trip to Jerash. I am thinking this is the far north end of the site, but I am not completely sure as we were turning around to head home before the sun went down.

The north gate area is an imposing stretch of road. According to this map, the large building in the foreground is the North Tetrapylon, and beyond the North colonnaded street, is the actual gate. I want to wander down this path another time.

It makes me wonder why such a grand entry point was needed in this location, at that time? Apparently this way led to Pella – I’ll need to read more on that city.

I am not sure what this ruin is. I need to find our book – or get a new one on our next outing! It may be the West Baths that were destroyed by a massive earthquake in 749AD, as apparently, were many things in the region.

We also explored a bit of the North Theatre. It seemed smallish from the outside, as well as upon entering this entry hall.  

But once we were in – wow! It opened up, and down. The kids were immediately energized and wildly enthused. They were instantly down the stairs and all over the place – the place has energy!

After romping up and down the stairs and around the rows of seats, we made it back outside… and had to take a break. Honor was so winded that she just plopped right down in the dust! I believe Brian had run off again when I took this photo… he still had some energy.

As my knees were used up, and Honor was done, us girls turned back to the colonnade to make our way back to the car. Brad, the boys, and our friend, went a little bit further to check out a number of the broken Byzantine Churches down the road. They found some amazing mosaic work, which dated to 553AD.

Actually – first – this bit of mosaic floor came from up near the Hippodrome. I forgot to include it earlier, so I’ll lump it in with these mosaic pieces.

Now, back to the other end of the complex – these are from the churches.

I like the square below – can I get this is my living room?

Below on the right, is a sad example of religious fundamentalism, where this lovely art work was vandalized by those of the 8th century Christian Iconoclastic Movement – they forbade the depiction of humans or animals in art, and destroyed parts of these mosaics. I suppose we might like to look back on such destruction as primitive and based on ignorant superstition, that hopefully, more modern and civilized humans outgrew, but unfortunately, it has continued through the centuries. In Egypt, in 1378, with an attack against the Sphinx , and disgustingly enough, another such attack within this very decade, in 2001, when the ignorant, hate-filled extremists of the Taleban destroyed the Buddhas of Bamyan (built in 507ad and 554ad).

Was this a lady, or maybe an angel, playing a harp?

Sections of these floors are supposed to depict the seasons.

I see the head of a peacock here. I don’t get the destruction. A peacock is a beautiful bird. If god did not want us to be awed by its loveliness, why did he make it so pretty, or, more importantly, why did he give us the emotions to appreciate it? 

In my opinion – the rantings of certain humans have done far more harm than any depictions of god’s creatures could ever do (including human creatures) and yet words remain…. although, in the case of artwork like these tiles, I think that’s wonderful, as even though I cannot read them, I can appreciate the work and their historical importance. (I know, I know!…  Tolerance, logic and education are to extremism, ignorance, and fundamentalism, as water is to oil… but I can wish it were otherwise, can’t I?!)

My angels - proof

I've been trying to explain to the kids that our cats are not 'gone' but have instead, gone ahead. They were sweet and loving kitties and are 'angels in kitty heaven' now. A dear friend found the following artwork and sent it to us. Look and you will find our angels in this beautiful picture. (Thank you Leila! I love this!)

(Thanks to the artist - I am borrowing this without permission. I hope in this personal use, I can be forgiven.)

I do not have an answer to what comes after life - but I do not worry about defining it. I understand that some people take comfort in trying to define the unknowable, and that's a good thing, but to me, it doesn't matter. Why bother trying to put a label on it if there is no one to tell me if I am right or wrong? I'll find out when I get there. And, I cannot change it once I'm there. What will be, will be. Now, in this current life, I cannot see the afterlife, or touch it, or affect it... therefore I must believe that the only thing in my control, is this life, and I do believe that what I make of it, will translate into what happens in the next... because I do believe we have souls that carry on. I believe we have a responsibility to our souls.. and part of that responsibility is respecting the souls of others, even those who are not human.

I am not Christian, but I find a lot of lovely wisdom in the Bible. I believe my spirit should be inclusive, not exclusive, so I am pleased when I find solace in any religious and/or spiritual work:

From Genesis:

20 And God said, Let the waters swarm with swarms of living souls, and let fowl fly above the earth in the expanse of the heavens. 21 And God created the great sea monsters, and every living soul that moves with which the waters swarm, after their kind, and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply on the earth. 23 And there was evening, and there was morning a fifth day.

24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth living souls after their kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth, after their kind. And it was so. 25 And God made the beast of the earth after its kind, and the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing of the ground after its kind. And God saw that it was good.

I have found variations of this verse using 'creature' rather than 'soul', but I also found this Hebrew definition:

Scofield Reference Notes

The sixth day: (1) the fecundity of the earth after the creative work of the fifth day.

[2] living creature

"Creature," Heb. nephesh, trans. soul in Gen 2.7 and usually. In itself nephesh, or soul, implies self-conscious life, as distinguished from plants, which have unconscious life. In the sense of self-conscious life animals also have "soul." See verses Gen 1:26,27 2:7,21-23. See Scofield Note: "Gen 1:26".

Anyone who has ever loved and been loved by an animal, knows that animals are self-aware and have souls, which should give us all a deeper understanding of our responsibility to our fellow creatures. I'm not suggesting we must all turn vegetarian or else go to hell! I believe that nature was created/evolved to be as it is and there truly is a food web that works... why fight our omnivorous place in it? But we should be responsible about our place in this web. There is plenty of room for conservation, and even more room for kindness.

The Holy Quran also speaks of the souls of animals and their afterlife:

There is no creature crawling on the earth or flying creature, flying on its wings, who are not communities just like yourselves - We have not omitted anything from the Book - then they will be gathered to their Lord. (Surat al-An'am, 38)

Do you not see that everyone in the heavens and earth glorifies Allah, as do the birds with their outspread wings? Each one knows its prayer and glorification. Allah knows what they do. (Surat an-Nur, 41)

Rather pretty to think of birds with outspread wings, in prayer.

I also liked this bit about animals in Islam:

The Holy Prophet(s) used to say: "Whoever is kind to the creatures of God, is kind to himself." (Wisdom of Prophet Mohammad(s); Muhammad Amin; The Lion Press, Lahore, Pakistan; 1945).

According to the learned commentators of the Qur'an Majeed….animals all live a life, individual and social, like members of a human commune. In other words, they are like communities in their own right and not in relation to human species or its values. These details have been mentioned to emphasize the point that even those species which are generally considered as insignificant or even dangerous deserve to be treated as communities; that their intrinsic and not perceptible values should be recognized, irrespective of their usefulness or their apparent harmfulness."

The significant point to note is that, physically, man has been put in the same bracket as all other species. The following Hadith leaves no ambiguity in the scene in which the Qur'an Majeed uses the word 'community': Abu Huraira reported the Prophet(s) as telling of an incident that happened to another prophet in the past. This prophet was stung by an ant and, in anger, he ordered the whole of the ants' nest to be burned. At this, God reprimanded this prophet in these words: 'because one ant stung you, you have burned a whole community which glorified Me'. (Bukhari and Muslim).

And while it is good to gain wisdom from those who came before... the wise and the learned and the time proven... wisdom can also be found, surprisingly, in some of the fluff-filled silliness that washes up in our email in-boxes. Take this example:

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.

'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.' The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump.'

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. 'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

2 by 2

And they came, two by two, to view the baby Jesus, and hang out with Shrek...

Sure, it would have been nice to have posted Christmas-y pics closer to Christmas, but the internet has not been cooperating. This picture of our unconventional and ever-changing nativity was too much fun not to share. I about spilled my coffee when I first saw the Ogre had joined the group in adoration. Well, why not ogres.. they have layers, right?

And why do we have a nativity set anyway? We're not Christian. We are trying to raise the kids with a good sense of God though, and an open-minded acceptance of all religious paths. We want them to have a good foundation of morals and values, an appreciation and acceptance of all forms of spiritual expression, and true belief in the divine. With this background we think they'll be able to find the religion that fits them best, and truly works for them, when they are old enough to know who they are. The details do not really matter - all religions are faulty by nature. Made by humans, and humans are not the perfect ones. Religion is just a tool we use to communicate with the Spirit, and so it is good to learn that all of man's religions have good and bad parts, true and false, etc. It's also important to learn that we do NOT have all of the answers, and we do NOT know what the true path is - only God knows that, and in my opinion, I think God is great enough to have made more than one true path. He made us all different, so, why not? We try to teach the kids a bit about everything as we come across it. They'll figure out the path that fits them best later, and, hopefully, will follow it truthfully while retaining a love and respect for other paths too. Anyway, a nativity set is a good, hand's-on (you better believe I got a set the kids can play with - clay breaks, but glues well too!) learning aid for Christianity. Ok, Shrek is a stretch... but we have to believe that god loves us all. Even ogres.

My faith in her faith

Once upon a time, my mom had me attend her Southern Baptist church. The close-minded fundamentalism of that church clashed so badly with who I was, that not only did I leave it as soon as I could, I also tried to turn my back on everything spiritual. Didn't work. To make a long story short, I found too many miracles in life and nature for that to happen. Maybe one day I'll say some things about Paganism and Druidry, but in the meantime, I'll just say that while it is still not my calling, I've made peace with the religion of Christianity, and understand now that my problem was not with the religion, but with a certain set of it followers.

I read my sister-in-law Christine's blog tonight and her words were like going to church. A good and uplifting service. Not one of those, well, other types... (be good!) I am so happy for her, and for the strength she gains from her faith. We live far apart. No phone calls or regular visits. I've been very worried about the stress and worry that she and her husband must be going through as they work on an international adoption. She entitled this blog entry "God's Promises , and that is what she spoke about, but it was also a clear and strong testament to her faith. Reading it immediately lifted from my shoulders, much of the burden of worry I had been carrying for her. I know, that she knows, that she has someone stronger to carry all such burdens for her. Of course, I knew of her faith before, and that was always a relief, but this new affirmation strengthens my faith in her. I am still going to worry and pray for her and their new son(-to-be), after all, that's my job as SIL and aunt! But less so, as of tonight.

It is wonderful, isn't it? That the strength that she shows in her faith, can strengthen my faith, in her, and in general, and bring me such peace? To me, it's akin to proof that giving out free smiles, hugs, and other random acts of kindness, really does make positive waves in the world. Christine rippled the pond by throwing out a pebble of faith. Let the waves spread. Thanks sis :-)